What's holding you back?
Aug 16, 2021
What is holding you back from having the courage and confidence to be, do and have it all - in your own unique and extraordinary way?
You’re probably not going to like what I have to say, but I am known for my no BS approach. I prefer to give it to you straight. I see it as my job to cheerlead and challenge you to be the best human you can be and to live your best life. So, I’m kickass and kind, and I’m going to give you the truth.
The truth is that the reason you aren’t living the life of your dreams is because of a great big laundry list of excuses, most of which fall into one of four camps:
- Your need to be in Control
- Limiting stories and beliefs
Sounds simple right?
Well, just because it's simple, doesn't mean its easy.
Let's imagine that you want to leave your boring job, or your unstimulating relationship, or start your own photography business. Or maybe you want to sell your art , retrain as a teacher, or help people conquer their fears. Perhaps you have a secret desire to be a model, teach yoga in Bali, or manage a homestead in Costa Rica…
Maybe you long for a day that the business you have been diligently working on for 6 years straight, will flourish on its own and provide you with the freedom you truly desire, while continuing to make a positive impact in the world.
Whatever the dream, if it isn’t your reality or you don’t feel like you are well on your way, then there is something holding you back.
You’re not alone. Many people are held back from happiness or success. But what is it that is really keeping you stagnant and stuck?
If you want to succeed - if any of us want to succeed - we must become ninjas at overcoming doubt. We must make fear our friend. We must relinquish the control we hold on to so tightly, and reframe our limiting stories.
Doubt is overcome by faith.
Doubt, that you can do it. Doubt, that you’ll be accepted by your family and friends if you change. Doubt, that you’re worth it. Doubt, that you deserve it. Doubt that you’ll even enjoy it once you’re there.
These are all real feelings and real thoughts that run through the minds of real people, just like you and me everyday. BUT, listening to these doubts and making them right, instead of choosing FAITH, instead of believing that you are absolutely deserving and worthy, and that it is all possible and all available for you, is a choice.
Fear is not meant to be overcome, fear is meant to be friended.
Fear, that you’re not enough. Fear, of failure. Fear, of looking silly. Fear of not knowing how.
Fear that you’ll not make enough money to survive, pay your bills or look after your kids. Fear of uncertainty, or being rejected are primal fears, and unless you’re walking down a dark alleyway at night often just aren’t warranted in 2018. You have food, you have shelter, there isn’t a bear about to enter the cave.
Fear is merely a sign post and shows us that we are entering the unknown, and that it’s time to use discernment. Cultivating your discernment muscle is a much better use of your time than unilateral fear will ever be.
There will always be unfavourable circumstances.
Being afraid isn’t going to change that. Believing in yourself and your ability to navigate them will.
Most people blame their circumstances…
“I need more money first.”
“I don’t have the time.”
“No one will support me”
“My kids need me”
“I’m busy with work”
“I don’t have the skills.”
“My partner doesn’t get it.”
“My friends won’t like me anymore.”
Maybe these are circumstances that need changing, but if we dive in deeper - they’re not facts, they are limiting beliefs and stories designed to keep you exactly where you are now, or repeating old patterns of behaviour again and again.
In order to get different results, you need to do something different, more importantly though, you’re going to need to believe something different.
Choosing to reframing your beliefs and recondition your mind to operate in your favour, is the BIG TRICK that successful people know.
Whether you believe that life is supposed to be hard, or life is your playground is up to you.
Whether you believe you can, or you can’t is up to you.
What meaning you chose to give to your experience is up to you.
No one can believe your beliefs for you.
Whether you deserve it, comes down to belief.
Ultimately it's up to you.
Whether you need permission is up to you.
Whose advice, perspective, reality or paradigm you chose to live from is up to you.
All the should’s, the expectations, the conditions are not real.
The procrastination, the distraction, is a choice - and could be cured by a better plan, or by modifying your beliefs about what is really possible.
It's time to stop comparing yourself. It's time to stop limiting yourself. It's time to stop waiting for permission. It's time to stop listening to everyone else but yourself.
It is time to know that you are here to make your unique magic in the world. We need you, to step up and get over yourself.
Stop waiting for the right time, the time is NOW!
Wake up! Kickass! Be Kind and Repeat….
Stay wild, stay true, always be YOU
(First written and posted 17th Aug 2018.)