Choose your own self  -  actualisation adventure

My Sovereign self is a kickass, lit KWEEN!  She owns her light and brings the fire! She knows that we all get to be FULL OF OURSELVES, that there is no competition, and that when we all thrive, we all thrive! With my conscious sun in gate 56, the fire I bring is puckish, playful, and cheeky. I claim my creativity, my imagination, my pervasive drive for autonomy, my agency and I shine a light on where you are allowing yourself to leak your power or give your light away. With my Leo sun, and North Node, my Sagittarius moon, and rising and my Neputune on the AC also in Sagittarius - I bring the fire and model what it looks like to ignite others, while ‘cooking on gas’

My core wound and childish self kicks in when I feel unseen, when I am being half hearted with myself, when I am devoted to the things that aren’t working and focusing (obsessing) with details that don’t matter. My child steps in when I perceive that I am being ignored or when I feel unsupported. If life feels too big and out of my control. 

I am aware of and secure in my insecurities. 

My lover is potent, she flows like water, she has done the work to reconnect with her body, sensuality, s3xuality, and softness. She is open, vulnerable, and available for vast amounts of intimacy. 

A lover once told me “The thing about you that scares me the most is your capacity for intimacy. The thing about you that I love the most is your capacity for intimacy.” and they were not wrong. My lover is potent and she is a fountain or wellspring of love. She knows that all emotions are welcome and emotes for expression rather than manipulation. She is at home in her body and models this so that you might be inspired to connect with yours. 

My shadow lover is scorpionic, holds on too long, sulks, hates hard on her body OR she disconnects from it completely and leaves too soon. She’s wishy washy and overcome by her grief, sulky, Moaning myrtle like. She believes that she is unlovable. She overrides her values and takes what she can get, believing that breadcrumbs are all she’s entitled to. She self betrays, overrides her desires for codependant love and forgets what she stands for.

My warrior has worked on upholding my boundaries in a clear respectful way. She honours those of others and advocates for my own and your access to choice, always. She is a resilience ninja, creatively committed to finding a way to realise the dream that the Sovereign has claimed. My warrior never self abandons, acts with integrity to the values that my lover illuminates and is down to earth, understated, and pragmatic. My warrior is Libran (just and fair) seeing all sides, strives to finds a strategy that allows win:win solutions. She is driven to create a business and a life that is supportive and sustainable for me, and for you 

My shadow Warrior sometimes plays the victim, but more often shows up as a martyr - over-giving, wanting everyone to be as altruistic as I am (my unconscious sun or ‘radiance’ is in gate 27 - The Considerate Cup) and one sure fire way that I know that I have lost my sovereignty is when I am over-giving, giving from resentment or operating from a ‘woe is me’ place or being passive aggressive rather than identifying and then stating my needs and being available for assistance. One of the ways that I support my inner victim is to invite people into my world who I know will call me out on my martyrdom and ask me “what do you need?” helping me to release the conditioning that I must do it all myself and no one can help me...