Before I was seven years old I had lived in a house truck, on a commune, in France, in New Zealand, in Ireland, and several homes in England. I had been bathed in a sink, and had a pet goose called Lucy.
I had an unusual childhood, with exposure to so many things that are now widely accepted with merit that then, were weird and unheard of. I had access to spirituality, philosophy, healing modalities, esoteric tools and open minded elders who âgot itâ - while all I wanted was normal.
My first career was as a Freelance TV & Film Production Buyer, Stylist, and Project / Event Manager. I worked hard and played harder. I suffered from burnout at the end of every job. My life was a roller coaster of working til I collapsed and then âretreatingâ around the world.
I worked hard for my career and had got what I thought I wanted; money, status, some creativity and abject freedom; but it wasnât enoughâŚ.
So I opted to be courageous and try something different.
In the midst of the impending recession in 2009 I set up one of the first Virtual Assistance companies, providing personal in person and online support to Creative Businesses & Private Individuals in the UK and across the globe.
The recession, my pride and a series of unfortunate events saw me homeless and sofa surfing. Massively in debt and knowing nothing about running a business meant I had nothing to lose and I gave it everything I had.
By December 2011 from the outside my business 'My Girl Friday Ltd' looked great. Through pure grit, determination and hustle I had survived the toughest part of the recession.
I followed âthe rulesâ about how I thought business was supposed to be. The Company grew, our reputation and reach extended, we had invites to amazing events, and were being nominated for awards.
But, on the inside I felt stuck and lost. I wasnât delegating, I was pushing people away and being led by my wounds and the voices that told me âI have to do this all by myselfâ and âeverything is on me.â
I was avoiding parts of myself and everything felt hard. I was making it work, but I was not having fun! I was not allowing FUN!
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IÂ was working all the time, but it was never enough, the company was not making enough profit. I was not running my business, my business was running me!
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If hard work and effort correlated with success, I would have won so many awards for my successes.
Instead, I felt trapped, and overwhelmed. I doubted everything, I did not trust the Universe, I ignored the messages from Spirit.
I numbed my feelings with food, drugs, sex and alcohol.
I felt no real pleasure and no real pain, I felt disconnected from my clients, from my business, partners and from my purpose.
On the outside, a smile masked what was really going on. My body urged me to listen but I wouldnât.
I contemplated suicide.
I chose to live.
In November 2011 I moved to Bali, surrounded myself in colour and femininity and made it my mission to figure out who the fuck I really was AND learn to like what I found or make changes until I did.
I decided to learn from all the crazy adventures I had been on, all the books I had read, all the people I had met, all the businesses I had worked with.
I raked through all the notes I had from retreats and workshops, therapy and courses; all the journals I kept, all the money I lost, all the diets and pills, the pains, the patterns â everything!
I drew out all the lies and all the truths and synthesised it all into what went onto make 1000's of people happier, healthier and make me an award winning international master coach.
After Bali I went all in on coaching. By 2014 I had certified in personal performance, life and business coaching with The Coaching Academy.
I published my first book 'Misfit to Maven' set out on my mission to help thousands of Misfit's go from ARGH to AHHH. I built a brand and a community. I continued to invest heavily in my personal development with personal, spiritual, and business coaches and mentors.
I trained and licensed coaches of my own. I built a team and fleshed out my business infrastructure.
In 2018 I qualified as an mBit coach. Multiple brain integration technique offers a modality that marries the values work and the embodiment work that had become so integral to me by engaging our multiple intelligences not just our mind.
In 2018 I won International Coach of the Year as awarded by The Coaching Academy.Â
In 2019 I became a certified Master coach.
I loved what I was doing. In an industry that often glorifies look over feel, my work felt important. I needed people to see that slow, and subtle, depth and long lasting internal, systemic change matter more than vanity metrics and perceived success...
BUT, I also let my head get turned and my 'not-self' get manipulated by the MORE IS MORE culture of the coaching industry.
If I am really honest I lost parts of myself to an over inflated sense of duty and my own Patriarchal conditioning.
I didn't recognise my own potency.
I didn't see that the intimacy, the spiritual, the essence, the magic, the initiation, the adventure, the experience is where my gifts are, where I am resourced beyond measure.
I was so busy focusing on what I am not, what I didn't have, where I lacked, and the not enough-ness that I could not see the support, the love, the potency and the alchemy of who I am and what was already enough.
I was so focused on what I DO for others, that I wasn't acknowledging who I BE, for myself.
(And the impact that has.)
After years of thinking about a life in the sun and on the beach, I moved to Spain. And, then in 2021 I experienced what I can only describe as a Tower Card moment (or a Uranus / Pluto transit) as everything I had worked so hard for crumbled around me.
In a new country, where I had no family and hadn't yet found community I found myself losing my best friends, my company and who I thought I had to be in order to survive..
The fiduciary 'failure' of Misfit For Life was the end of an era. Abruptly liquidating the company I had worked on for 10 years was hugely sad, and was also an opportunity for me to course correct.
It was an opportunity for me to remember my self, self-mastery, and inner-sovereignty. To change vehicles. To return to the path that I am truly here to walk.
After 14 weeks completely off, for the first time in my life I came back to 'work' again... but things had changed.
In 2022, aged 44 I got an Autism and ADHD diagnosis, which changed everything and nothing for me.
I certified in Embodied Human Design and in embodying my design I assimilated 25+ years of psycho-spiritual learning and development into deep practical wisdom.
I re-did my Master Coach qualification in Multiple Brain Integration Technique this time with a specific focus on Neurodivergence.
I took time to really embody my Human Design, explore my conditioning and relook at my whole business through a new lens.
I faced some even deeper shadows. I healed. I found a deep self love that had eluded me and became FULL OF MYSELF.
These days I am wild, free and truly me. I own my humanness and my divinity.
I get paid to be myself, and help you be the you that your inner six year old would be really, truly, deeply proud of.
I split my time between Sussex, Somerset and Spain...
I host a monthly community call... You're welcome to attend. If you are called to work with me, take a look around my online home, and send me a message if you have a question.
BIG love,
stay wild,
stay true,
be more you
Ebonie xoxo
"There is nothing to learn or qualify in, in order to become full of yourself. To become full of yourself you just get to let go of everything that you are not."
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