Before I was seven years old I had lived in a house truck, on a commune, in France, in New Zealand, in Ireland, and several homes in England. I had been bathed in a sink, and had a pet goose called Lucy.
I think it’s fair to say that my parents gifted me with a curiosity for the world. I learned that being open and curious is the road to everything that’s good about being human.
It’s only when we close ourselves off that life stops being magical.
I understand, embrace, and cherish the unconventional.
We’re not meant to be like anyone else and our differences are to be celebrated.
I had an unusual childhood, with exposure to so many things that are now widely accepted with merit that then, were weird and unheard of. I had access to spirituality, philosophy, healing modalities, esoteric tools and open minded elders who ‘got it’ - while all I wanted was normal.
My first career was as a Freelance TV & Film Production Buyer, Stylist, and Project / Event Manager. I worked hard and played harder. I suffered from burnout at the end of every job. My life was a roller coaster of working til I collapsed and then ‘retreating’ around the world.
I worked hard for my career and had got what I thought I wanted; money, status, some creativity and abject freedom; but it wasn’t enough…. So I opted to be courageous and try something different.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire
In the midst of the impending recession in 2009 I set up My Girl Friday Ltd, providing Freelance Personal and Virtual Assistance to Creative Businesses & Private Individuals in the UK and across the globe. The recession, my pride and a series of unfortunate events saw me homeless and sofa surfing. Massively in debt and knowing nothing about running a business meant I had nothing to lose and I gave it everything I had.
By December 2011 from the outside my business looked great. Through pure grit, determination and hustle I had survived the toughest part of the recession. I had followed ‘the rules’ about how I thought business was supposed to be. The Company grew, our reputation and reach extended, we had invites to amazing events, and were being nominated for awards.
But, on the inside I felt stuck and lost. I wasn’t delegating, I was pushing people away and being led by my wounds and the voices that told me ‘I have to do this all by myself” and “everything is on me.”
I was avoiding parts of myself and everything felt hard. I was making it work, but I was not having fun!
I worked around the clock, but the company was not making enough profit, I was not running my business, my business was running me!
I felt trapped, and overwhelmed. I doubted everything, I did not trust the Universe, I ignored the messages from Spirit. I numbed my feelings with food, drugs, sex and alcohol. I felt no real pleasure and no real pain, I felt disconnected from my clients, from my business, partners and from my purpose. On the outside, a smile masked what was really going on. My body urged me to listen but I wouldn’t.
I contemplated suicide.
I chose to live.
In November 2011 I moved to Bali, surrounded myself in colour and femininity and made it my mission to figure out who the fuck I really was AND learn to like what I found or make changes until I did.
I decided to learn from all the crazy adventures I had been on, all the books I had read, all the people I had met, all the businesses I had worked with. I raked through all the notes I had from retreats and workshops, therapy and courses; all the journals I kept, all the money I lost, all the diets and pills, the pains, the patterns – everything!
I drew out all the lies and all the truths and synthesised it all into what went onto become 'YOUR COMPASS' The Value Filter and The Misfit to Maven Journey - which I share in my book: Misfit to Maven.
There is work to do but it gets to be an adventure of discovery.
After Bali I went all in on coaching. By 2014 I had certified as personal performance, life and business coach with The Coaching Academy.
I set out on my mission to help thousands of Misfit's go from ARGH to AHHH.
I built a brand and a community. I continued to invest heavily in my personal development with coaches and mentors and guides of my own.
I trained coaches of my own. I built a team and fleshed out some business infrastructure.
In 2018 I qualified as an mBit coach. Multiple brain integration technique offers a modality that marries the Values work and the embodiment work that had become so integral to me by engaging our multiple intelligences not just our mind.
In 2018 I won International Coach of the Year as awarded by The Coaching Academy.
In 2019 I became a certified Master coach.
I loved what I was doing. In an industry that often glorifies look over feel, my work felt important. I needed people to see that slow, and subtle, depth and long lasting internal, systemic change matter more than vanity metrics and perceived success...
BUT, in many ways I got caught up in the MORE IS MORE culture of the coaching industry too, and if I am honest I lost parts of myself to an over inflated sense of duty and my own Patriarchal conditioning.
I spent years adjusting. Adapting and creating Ebonie 2.0.
I won’t lie to you, it was an emotional and sometimes painful journey.
There were lonely times. Sad times. Angry times.
I had to let go of a lot of who I was. But there was also a lot of acceptance and joy.
I wrote a book about those early days of building a personal brand and becoming myself.
Between 2014 and 2021 I created the 'Misfit to Maven Way' and the 'Value Filter™' system.
- I learnt how to 'adult' while teaching others.
- I became an award winning international Master Coach.
- I travelled all over the world speaking on stages, hosting immersions and meeting wonderful Misfits and Mavens
- I hosted a podcast called 'Adulting with Ebonie' that had over 85k downloads
- I helped hundreds of Misfits to become Maven and curated a haven for self actualisation: The Misfit For Life community.
and, I invited 3 friends into my business and then I watched it die.
Between 2021 and 2023 I went inward and I healed.
- I studied and got certified in Human Design
- I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.
- I re-did my Master Coach qualification in Multiple Brain Integration Technique this time with a specific focus on Neurodivergence.
- I took time to really embody my Human Design, explore my conditioning and relook at my whole business through a new lens.
In July 2023 I brought back Adulting with Ebonie and combined it with the previous iteration 'This Sacrosanct Life' adding AWE to the conversation about maturity and self-actualisation.
It's never too late to realign or course correct.
Life's a beach.
2020 changed everything for everyone, and I wasn't immune.
I had been working on surrender, de-conditioning myself of Capitalism and The Patriarchy and remembering my Priestess self.
After years of thinking about a life in the sun and on the beach, I moved to Spain. And, in 2021 I experienced what I can only describe as a Tower Card moment as everything I had worked so hard for crumbled around me.
In a new country, where I had no family and hadn't yet found community I found myself losing my best friends, my company, and the last shreds of the persona my ego self had created.
The fiduciary 'failure' of Misfit For Life was the end of an era. Liquidating the company abruptly was hugely sad, and was also an opportunity for me to course correct.
It was an opportunity for me to remember why I am self employed. To change vehicles. To return to the path that I am truly here to walk.
Ever evolving, I am not who I was.
I am more me every day.
My life is my Art.
My life was course corrected, I needed to learn to serve others less and myself more.
After 14 weeks completely off, for the first time in my life I came back to 'work' again... but things have changed.
I make art, I make books, I make self study courses and I'm available only to those who seek me out.
If you are called to work with me, you're welcome to ask.
Take a look around my online home.